so, where were we?

Some of you may not know that I have PMDD (basically, severe PMS) which shows up in depression, irrational anger, and craziness like that.  I take meds for it which kind of helps, but then, I still have a few days each month where I'm in "the pit of despair" and everywhere I look, life looks gray and hopeless.  Being a Christian, I KNOW it's not hopeless, and I know that this feeling will pass, but at the same time, it is SO overwhelming that it becomes my "reality" for a time.  Couple that with my quirky personality (seriously, I have tried to be serious, and it just isn't me), and we can have some interesting conversations....that is when I'm not hiding from the world.  But this last time around, when I was sitting at the bottom of that deep dark well, all by myself, and not wanting anyone to find me there, God reached His hand down into that slimey, stinky hole and just held me.  I was SO "unholdable" (is that a word?  well it is now!)  You know when a little kid doesn't want to be held, they're all squirmy and at the same time trying to pretend that you're not there and that they don't care....yeah, that kind of unholdable.  And you know you are truly loved when you get held anyway, even with all the squirming and stoicism.  And He sent friends to encourage me in the climb out of that pit, to let me know that they did notice I was MIA, and that I do make a difference, and life isn't always that gray cloud.  Whew!  Seriously, I cannot imagine living without knowing that GOD IS FOR ME!!  SO WHO CAN STAND AGAINST ME? (not even myself can be against me!)

Change my Heart, O God, Make it Ever New....

God is working a new thing in me and it’s hard and it very much goes against my people-pleasing nature. And still He asks it of me and without understanding it all or being comfortable with it, I MUST obey. I’ve been fighting it for a bit and finally, today, took action and am now hiding in the shadow of His wings, watching to see His mighty hand move. Just now I got a cool email about the new Narnia movie, Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Included in the email were some unit study/lesson plan links. One caught my eye, and when I clicked on it and read, it took my breath away! Oh, how I love my Abba Father, how I love His faithfulness when I struggle to be faithful.


May you be blessed: Lessons on Beauty & Bravery: A Study Guide for Women

Yay! More Catering!

Call me crazy, but I LOVE to cook. I've come to realize that this is one way I can show people I care about them, appreciate them. Guess that means I'll make a great Grandma someday! :) But this is a passion for me. God has granted me the skills to be a good cook, and also granted me the desire to share the fruits of these skills. So, yes, I've got another catering job. Love it! I am by no means a professional caterer, but rather, I am doing something I love so I am doing my best. (Get it?) My first catering job, many years ago, now, was for the wedding of the daughter of some dear friends. My first chance to cook for a crowd. They had faith in my abilities and let me run with it! Wow (it was also a wonderful experience in that they had an amazing kitchen in their house!) Since then, I've helped with a brother-in-law's wedding, and have recently been asked to cater week-end-long events (at retreats put on by the Hill AFB chapel; I feed the staff, avg from 30-50 people). I love it!! What an experience. Tiring, yes, but so fullfilling for me! I don't get paid, I do it for the experience, and for the chance to bless these people as they reach out and serve and bless others. Many have called me crazy, maybe I am, but I LOVE doing this, truly this is a ministry opportunity for me. Who knows where this will take me, but for now I know that I am serving right where God has asked me to be.
So, you wanna see the menu? :) And yes, most of it is made from scratch by me.
This is for Saturday morning through Monday lunch time
Saturday
Breakfast: muffins (made by the commissary, as we'll be packing and then unpacking until after lunch)
Lunch: sub sandwiches, chips and soda (again, sandwiches made by the commissary)
Dinner: Fruit Tray (early); Meat lasagna; Spinach lasagna; Rolls; Salad; Carrot cake (shhh, I'm hoping my husband will have made the next rank, so I'm making this especially for him....but they don't have to know that!)
Sunday
Breakfast: Bagels; Fruit; Breakfast burritos
Lunch: Grilled Pastrami sandwiches; Fancy Grilled Cheese Sandwiches; Greek Pasta Salad; Chips
Dinner: Chips and salsa (early); BBQ Brisket; BBQ ribs; Baked Beans; Coleslaw; Strawberry Spinach Salad; and Cheesecake Squares for dessert
Monday
Breakfast: Pancakes and sausage; fruit; bagels
Lunch: Brisket in tortillas; BLT Salad sandwiches; Greek Salad; Chips

So, call me crazy, but I'm going to have a good time!

Me and Wii

Well, today was day 12 with my WFP (Wii Fit Plus). I've missed 2 days, although on one of those days I was quite busy altering a sewing pattern, pinning, cutting, etc for over 3 hours....lots of standing, some sitting....if I counted that as light housework, I burned about 716 calories. And I did that twice, so that was good. There was one day that I just didn't do the it at all; I woke up with a gross headache and a mean, nasty attitude, and so mostly avoided everything. Anyway, you'll notice on the sidebar (and, bravely, on my facebook page) that I've posted a ticker on my weight loss. The only thing I'm doing differently than before was spending time on WFP....and usually it's only about 1/2 an hour (though trust me, I sweat). Sometimes I do a yoga and strength training routine and other times I just play games. I decided, for now, I'm just doing what I enjoy doing on there. The routine, I do in the morning, to stretch my back and get all the creaks out from sleeping. :)
I am so thankful that God hasn't given up on me, despite the fact that I sometimes give up on me. I am thankful that He gently called me to try again, and that He provided a way for me to do this. So, anxious to see what comes about from all of this. I am feeling better, my posture has improved, as has my attitude. I am doing this with a changed mindset, and I thank God for that!

So, here we go!

The day after

It's the day after my 43rd birthday. I was trying to explain to hubby last night that birthdays just kind of make me feel strange....I dunno, not a bad thing, necessarily, but just different. The kids get so excited that it's my birthday, but really, it's just not that big a deal. Again this year, I was SO blessed by friends on facebook....people can say what they want about online social stuff like that, but it is AWESOME to be wished happy birthday by friends from long ago, close friends, distant friends.....reminds me that I really do matter, that I do leave an impression wherever I go. Pretty cool! For gifts, hubby got me a Cuisinart Food Processor and 2 wooden pizza peels (if you don't know what that is, google it). Little D, who I lovingly call Turtle, got me a box of Turtles (well, Daddy got them and let Turtle give them to me), Pink got me a bag of chocolates too, and Big D gave me coupons for housework (yeehaw!!) All in all, it was a blessed day....I was very much reminded that I am loved, I am somebody....and though that may seem trivial or something I should just know, it's nice to be reminded! :)

Waiting

God has me learning about waiting. I thought I had this lesson down. I thought that 14 years of waiting for my husband to truly trust me with his heart had taught me about waiting. However, in this waiting, other people are involved, people are hurting and the right thing to do is to do nothing, to trust God and wait on His timing. Whew!! And I'm not a mean person, but a little dig here and there can't be bad, can it? It can if it means that you're not quietly waiting and trusting God in all of it. I was VERY angry with someone, hurt by their actions and angry that they weren't realizing how many people their actions are affecting. I kept scheming little things to do to make that person "wake up and smell the coffee". Well, then God showed me truly what MY behavior/thoughts were like according to kingdom ways. By being so angry, by wanting revenge, by not being able to forgive and pray....I was the one suffering. By behaving in this way, carrying this load, I was basically saying that the cross of Christ was indeed enough for my sin, but that there was a limit to the cross, to the saving blood of Jesus. I assumed that because the attacks continued that this person was unforgiveable and not worth praying for! By not being content in God's timing of things, by trying to take matters into my own hands, I was proving my level of trust. Ouch!!
Read this story in John 8:3-7:
3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Oh Lord!! What have I done? Where have I come to? Father! Forgive me!! Abba, lift me back to my feet, lift my dear sister in Christ back to her feet, set our feet upon Your path of righteousness. Father, forgive my pride, forgive my unforgiveness, my lack of trust, lack of mercy and grace. Thank You Abba that you are ever faithful even when we are not, thank You that no sin is too great for You to forgive. Abba, help us, your children to keep our eyes on kingdom things rather than the things of this earth.

My Momma done tol' me to save lots of money!

Okay, whatever, I know those aren't the words to the song, but I couldn't think of any catchy title for this post!

I just got back from one of my favorite stores.....now this store is NOT pretty, doesn't really feel all that clean, BUT the money I save there makes up for all that! What am I talking about? A salvage grocery store!! I'd never known these stores existed (other than the dented and discounted racks at big grocery stores) until I moved here to Utah. I was actually warned not to go into this store.....but I didn't listen! I just had to check it out! And now it is the first place I try to get to on grocery shopping day!

The one here near me is called Carl's Super Saver and they carry lots and lots of things. My great deals for the day were bell peppers for 10 cents each; tomatoes for 20 cents each; plus size tights for $2.99, and a couple pairs of fun/funky earrings for 99 cents each!

Now, having said that, I also want to share some tips with you if you want to give this a shot and it's your first time dealing with "salvaged goods"

1. The vegetables.....may not be perfect, there may be a bad spot or two you have to cut out, or a couple berries or something that are moldy....that's not the exception, that's the NORM! These peppers I bought today are just on the verge of getting soft, so I am going to chop them up and freeze them for later use, thus stopping the aging process.
2. Look at dates and consider the product....I wouldn't hesitate to use outdated soap or something, but very outdated food (I'm talking years), I'd be careful about.
3. Things to watch out for with canned goods (and I'm going to just assume they're outdated, so don't even worry about that): dented is okay, but rusted is NOT good; puffed up tops are NOT good; super dented (as in un-openable) isn't a good idea
4. You also need to be somewhat aware of regular store prices for the items. For example, today I saw some dish soap, the kind with the air freshener on the bottom, for $2.49. Now I know I can get a bigger bottle for about that price or less at a regular store, so why bother.
5. Brand loyalty.....I am brand loyal on some things (shampoo, toothpaste for me) but other things I don't mind generic or off brands (diced tomatoes are diced tomatoes, ya know?) So you have to decide what things you're willing to be lenient on.

I think that's all the warnings I need to share. If you think of anything else, or have questions, feel free to post them in the comments. You do have to use your best judgement, but if you're careful, I think this is an awesome way to save money and be green (well, they would be throwing this stuff out if nobody bought it, as regular stores can't sell it)

So, check out the yellow pages or online, see what's in your area, and start saving!!!

WWJD

If you're like me in your thinking....you're thinking this little acronym is wa-a-a-a-ay over-used. Well, while that is true, it has taken on new meaning in my life. Our Pastor recently read the book, In His Steps . Now, I read this book once, long ago, and thought how neat it would be to try this out.....however, did I? No. Well, Pastor Henry challenged our church to commit to living this way for one year, asking first in all decisions, what would Jesus do? So, I committed to it. And boy, it seems like such a simple thing, but there is a cost. That cost is different for each person, but I think that it reflects where your heart is. That was hard for me to take in. I'm a people pleaser, life's just easier that way. Well, God is seeking God pleasers, rather than people pleasers....and so, the cost for me has been that there are people who are not happy with me. And boy is it difficult sometimes not to jump up and try to take back the things that I said even though I know that they needed to be said, that they were the truth, and that I had been lying by not saying anything before.....and to take it all back would be to pick up that lie again.....not something Jesus would do. Ouch!

This last week, with Thanksgiving here, we had family come for 4 days. Looking back on it now, I can see that I went into survival mode.....I got by, said and did what I felt would keep the peace....again, not something Jesus would do I don't think. In church on Sunday morning, I was so happy to be around friends who I knew cared about me no matter what. I was relieved to not have to be in survival mode.....and that's when God let me know that Jesus NEVER operated out of survival mode. To operate out of survival mode is to not be willing to die to self. Instead it's a protection of self above all else. Nope, not something Jesus would do. Surviving was NOT one of the things Jesus set out to do....rather, He was willing to pay the price no matter what. Wow, lots to think on there!

So, this is definitely a challenge in my life! A moment by moment thing, because WOW! that is NOT the norm for me.

Gardening

Well, last year I tried planting carrots and got nothing. This year I have a very pretty carrot patch and am hoping that we'll actually get real carrots. Here's what I have so far (I was thinning them out a bit)
















Pretty impressive, huh?

Well, not really....but they're getting there. :)
















Actually my garden is doing pretty good. Tonight we had, from our very own little garden, fresh peas and a green salad made up of rainbow swiss chard (to match the rainbow carrots I guess) and lettuce. Delicious! And I have lots of green tomatoes and blossoms on my squash plants. Yay!! The red onions are looking pretty good too!!

As prices are jumping on everything, I am constantly trying to think of ways to save money or at least stretch it a little further. Hoping this garden will help out a lot! Next year we're planning a much bigger garden, so that should be fun too!

Honoring a friend

I had been looking forward to yesterday! The errands for the day, before my "anticipated event" was to go to the Christian bookstore to buy a gift for said event. That, in itself, was wonderful as I know the man who owns it (he goes to our church) but I'd never really talked to him before. I was SO blessed talking to this guy!!! He has a tiny little store and only carries things that agree with his beliefs.....what a powerful statement! Very cool! I'm going there from now on!! Anyway, after that, we went to base and I had planned to get Big D's hair cut, but there was a line, so instead, spur of the moment, I went into the BX to see if they had any nice dresses as I wanted to dress up for the evening. The kids helped me pick out a really pretty black and white dress. They insisted that I HAD TO buy it and that we would surprise Daddy and just show up in it. Then we grabbed lunch and headed home, but on the way, I realized the boys didn't have nice pants for the evening, so we stopped at Saver's and found khakis for both of them, then finally, home at about 1:45. I had to be at the base Chapel before 4pm....and somehow (God be the glory!!) I managed to wash and dry the boy's pants, cut Big D's mop, iron the Pink Princess' dress and the boy's shirts, get Big D set up to sew a button on his shirt, orchestrate their getting dressed, take a VERY quick shower, put on makeup, and get dressed myself. Whew!!!! And we got to the chapel at 3:45!!

Now, the special event.....I am so in awe......through most of the formal part of the event, I couldn't help sending up prayer after prayer of thanksgiving for......well, the event: Our dear friend Chap. Carl Wright, an Episcopal priest and major in the AF was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. I have never been to a promotion ceremony, so I didn't know what to expect, but we all were invited to attend (yes, kids too, cuz although he really doesn't like kids who behave as kids, he LOVES my children....yes, I know, just don't ask!) The ceremony was held in the chapel, started out with wonderful Souza marches and such, then he came in and the Colonel made a few remarks about his career (most of which I did not know, but he is an amazing man!), then he was sworn in and his orders were read (again, very emotional) and he was "pinned on", after which he gave a brief speech and ended up crying! He said that when he was ordained as an episcopal priest, part of the ceremony is that the new priest faces the bishop with his back to the congregation, and when it's done, he's supposed to turn around and stretch out his arms and say "The Lord be with you." Well, when he turned around, he was overwhelmed by the show of friends and family who had traveled great distances to be there, so he stood with his arms outstretched, speechless, with tears pouring down his face. His 90 year old Grandma was in the front pew, and after a brief moment, she stretched out her arms and just started praising Jesus with "Glory Hallelujah! Praise God! Glory, glory hallelujah!" At this point in the story, Chap. Wright's voice broke as he got teary and he said, "That is what I want to say today. It is not me at all, it is God. God has put me in this place, He alone has brought me here." After that, he walked back to his seat, and we all stood and sang all verses of "Amazing Grace" at which point I joined Fr. Carl in crying!! :) Amazing!! After that and abrief reception, he took all the chapel staff and family out to dinner. I am SO honored that God saw fit to have us there for that and he has blessed us so richly with the friendship of this dear man!! Very cool!!!!!

Don't Tempt Me!

James 1:13-14:
Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).

Whoooo, boy! God is beginning yet another big work in me! I admit, I'm a bit anxious.....can I actually walk this path He's laid out before me? He's offering a path of life rather than the death walk I was choosing. Do you know what the above verse is saying? It's saying that when I'm tempted it's not anybody's fault but my own!!! When I'm tempted, it is me actually considering my own selfish desires! And we all know where that leads, right? We consider those desires, we act on those desires and it becomes a sin habit!

As I pondered this, I thought about some areas where I am continually tempted--gluttony and gossip. And looking at that in light of the above verse, here's what that looks like: I walk into the kitchen and see a piece of cake....no big deal.....except that I suddenly REALLY want that cake. I don't think about anything else but that cake. I know I shouldn't eat that cake, but I shove that thought aside (deliberately turning away from what I know is right) and give myself lots of reasons why I should eat the cake (relying on my own wisdom) and so I eat it. Do I actually enjoy that cake? Not really, because it has become an idol, something that leads me rather than God leading me. If you have to sneak it/hide it, are you living in the light? Can I hear a resounding NO!!! ((worst part is, I tell my kids this kind of stuff every day....but when it comes to my life.....oy!!))

So, what's my plan??? Well, for one, I'm writing out verse 14, the part about temptation being an enticement of my own selfish desires rather than what God desires for me. And I'm going to post that verse near the fridge and near the phone. Then I'm going to stop coming up with "good excuses" for the things I do ('it tastes so good', 'she made me so mad', "it's the last piece', 'you are NOT going to believe this'). Those all sound so good, but the truth is I KNOW that is NOT what God has for me. God has a purpose for me, and meanwhile I'm busy hiding in a corner doing my own thing and trying to make myself feel good about it. Ouch!!

So there.....done rambling (I think) and now it's posted on the worldwide web.....kinda makes me a whole lot more accountable, doncha' think?? Zoinks! Glad God's got me covered, He's got a plan to keep me busy with some good things! Looking forward to that, that's for sure!!!

Blessings!
Amy

I am a wife and I am a Mom!!!

Please, please take the time to go read the Feb. 18th post at Praise and Coffee blog! Those of you who know me, know that I don't really pay a whole lot of attention to politics, but I gotta tell you, I took the time to read through this whole bill (SB777) ...it is rather alarming. A serious wakeup call to Christians....now is NOT the time to sit idly by, merely calling yourself a Christian....now is the time to choose which side you stand on, and then stand! Stand strong! What can you do? How do you fight this darkness? It's not ours to fight.....God knew this was coming, He knows the hearts of man......now is the time to pull out the "big guns".......time for serious prayer and intercession! And thankfulness and praises that God is the God of eternity, that in the end HE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!

Oh, just go read the article and the comments, and leave a comment of your own!

And if your armor is dusty and dented, get busy, get in the Word, and get that armor shined and ready!!!!!

GOD GAVE ME A VALENTINE...

...and it is my husband!!!!!!!!!! Things will start to fall into a routine around here, and then my Beloved Husband does something that again reminds me of the great miracle in our marriage!!!!!!!! (can you tell I'm excited? I know you're not supposed to use more than one '!', but I can barely contain myself!!)

This morning I got up to make my DH breakfast before he went to work. He never mentioned Valentine's Day at all, so I decided I would be happy with today no matter what happened. Well, I just got an email from him telling me Happy Valentine's Day and then told me to go look in the trunk of the car for a surprise. I went out to the garage in my jammies and slippers! And in the trunk I found a big heart-shaped box of chocolates and a big bottle of my favorite wine (Cafe' Zinfandel....wow!) I am so.....happy seems like such a limp word.....no, I know.....I feel so CHERISHED!!

So I've got a yummy pot roast going for dinner, I'll cook up a good dessert (maybe his favorite, apple pie) and I'm going to make him a card. This is an awesome man that God has blessed me with!!!!

Fellowship of Believers

Yesterday the Pink Princess and I finally made it to church. It had been 3 weeks in a row that we (as a family) had not been able to attend church (traveling for week 1, terrible flu bug for week 2, and lots of snow for week 3). So about Wednesday or Thursday of last week Big D started having terrible headaches and tummy aches; by Friday he had passed it along to Little D. NO FUN! And we were all so looking forward to church, we all really missed it. So Saturday I said, "I really need to go to church." Thankfully, my dear husband said, "Honey, I'll stay home with the boys, and if Pink Princess is okay, you girls can go." I have to admit, it was hard walking out on the boys, knowing how very much they missed it too, but it was so nice to go to the house of the Lord and worship with His family!

Last night, laying in bed and thinking about the day, I was so thankful for the blessing of a church family. We haven't been attending this church for very long, and it is a small church, but oh! the presence of God in that place!! I just can't get enough, I love being around people who are so 'sold out' for Christ! So many times people try to put God in a box, but this little group has a big, big God and they are not afraid to put everything on the line for Him. I love that, I need that!! Friends are a good thing, they're there through thick and thin.....but a family of believers....there's just something to that....like you can get recharged, refocused, refreshed.

It was wonderful yesterday, to be in this fellowship of believers who wholeheartedly believe in God and express it in an unstoppable joy. God knew exactly what I needed and found a way for me to be there, to recharge, refresh and refocus! Awesome!!

1 John 1:3:3 What we have seen and [ourselves] heard, we are also telling you, so that you too may realize and enjoy fellowship as partners and partakers with us. And [this] fellowship that we have [which is a distinguishing mark of Christians] is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

Ugh!

Well, let's see....this week....I did go back to the doctor's on Tuesday; she was suprised and grossed out kinda by the bruising on my arm. We repeated the x-rays and again they said nothing's broken. She said it might be a torn ligament and recommended physical therapy to get range of motion back. For now I'm just going to use it more at home and see how it feels. So far it's pretty good, though this morning I propped myself up on that elbow and it did NOT feel good at all (note to self......DON'T!)

Last weekend we went to dh's oldest brother's house. They live about 3 hours from us. BIL is also in the Air Force, so they are living on a base in ID (about halfway to my youngest sister's house). Anyway, while there, Big D started sniffling and coughing....and sure enough, a NASTY cold has invaded our home. Of course I got it too.....NO fun!! Guess I kinda sound like a whiney baby; sorry about that.

So, life has been a bit chaotic lately, but what else is new? Gotta kinda roll with the punches, you know? Glad to know that God is on my side though! That makes each day doable for me, that's for sure!!

Well, just thought I'd catch you all up to speed on life here!
Count your blessings!

Don't Wannas

So as seen in my last couple posts, I'm really thinking and resolving to follow after God's heart this year; to keep headed in the way He has set for me. All that said, then I come face to face with the nitty-gritty stuff, you know, the stuff that really seems to have no eternal value and yet......

I have a kidney disease. I was diagnosed with it about, umm, 8 years ago (though symptoms were first noticed in '95 while pregnant with Big D). Now, this thing is not noticeable, doesn't really seem to affect my life at all right now BUT of course, the doctors can see stuff and they want to keep following up on it. That's all, just following up. But I don't want to!! I do not want to continually do 24 hour urines (yep, saving pee in a jug for 24 hours......think I've done at least 2 or 3 weeks worth by now!!!), bloodwork, etc. And then, going into the doctor just so that they can look at the numbers and say, "Yep, still there. Lose weight, watch your salt, watch your protein, cut back on the coffee......" I DON'T WANNA!!!!! I've got things to do! Life to live! Ministry opportunities to pursue!!!

Oh, wait.....then I remember, my body is a temple for Christ. How useful is a rickety, falling down temple? First things first, I gotta take care of this body that God has given me. I should be thankful that all that's required of this kidney disease right now is monitoring. I should be doing all that is advised so that I am available for whatever God has for me.

So....I'm still pluggin' along, trying to follow God's plans for me rather than my own. The things I can't change I simply need to trust to God's care. He's allowed it in my life for a purpose and rather than fight it, I need to follow Him....no matter where or how He leads.

I know this is rambling, just had to share it, to write it down and wrestle with it all. :)

God bless!!!!

Ripple Effect

Still feeling the ripple effect of all that took place while hubby was TDY. He has long talked about forgiveness, and the importance of it, but to me, it always felt more like head knowledge than heart knowledge. Okay, I might as well say it, I felt like his forgiveness was for everybody EXCEPT me (note I'm talking about hubby's forgiveness of me, not God's).

Well, that has changed. I keep telling hubby that he just seems softer now.....and not in a wimpy, unmanly way; believe me, this guy is a man's man!.....but there's something tender in him now. He has feelings, a whole spectrum of feelings. Yes, he still gets mad about stuff, but he also gets over it and you KNOW he's gotten over it.

I did not do well at all with our finances while DH was gone. I am so disappointed and ashamed, but that's water under the bridge, nothing I can do to change that now. I didn't tell hubby about the struggles as I wanted him to not have to be worrying and trying to fix things while in a war zone. So I've had to face the music now that he's home. He has seen all the mess ups, he's gotten upset about it (rightly so!), and then he's said that it will be okay, we will manage. A lot of his plans and dreams got pushed back because of my mistakes, but he's moving on. I am thankful beyond words!!! And he never really said the words, "I forgive you." I used to wish that he would say that sometimes, but now I realize it's not the words, it's the heart. He's forgiven me, that stuff is past us now. I simply stand here awed and amazed and humbled!

What could have changed that? God. And how did it happen? God pulled out all the hidden hurts and pains in hubby's heart, and they dealt with them. God helped DH experience and acknowledge those feelings. And because DH was doing that, God was able to work that in my life as well. It is amazing! One little pebble dropped in a pond, and the ripples are amazing!! Makes "open heart surgery" (in God's hands) all worth it!!

Praising Him more and more every day of this rollercoaster ride!!!

Adjusting

Well, things are going well here, but there is still some adjusting that is needed. We've all changed somewhat in the 7 months apart, and while it's good changes for the most part, it still requires some adjusting. I had been warned about the "adjustment time" but I think, until you actually experience it, you don't know what to expect. God is good though, in that we can always trust!!

So just wanted to update you on life here! Hope to be back to posting more regularly soon!
Blessings!

We did it!!!!

We survived our first deployment!! Woohooo!!! Praise God He saw us through this....none of us could have done it without His mercy and grace each and every day!!!!!!!!! Plus LOTS of good friends that He set about us! :)

And yes, the quilt got done, thanks to loyal friend K, that came and helped me finish handstitching the binding!! Whaddya think?


And why, you now ask, am I on here at 8:17 in the morning instead of snuggling in this cozy nest? Well, the chapel staff told him he needed to report in (at 7:30 am) to get all of his paperwork out of the way (well, that does include reimbursements and other allotments) and then he's off to enjoy a month at home with us. Hoping that will be enough time to catch up on 7 months apart!! :) At least we got to enjoy a quiet morning together like we had before he left. Finally, someone to share coffee with!!! :) And yes, we had homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast!!! Frozen, then thawed and rose overnight, to be cooked fresh this morning. Yum!! :)

Want some ketchup?

Today a friend of mine reminded me of that old ketchup commercial with the girl holding a bottle of ketchup upsided down and waiting. Wasn't the jingle, "Anticipa-a-tion is making me wait." I don't know....the curls sometimes tumble things together.

Anyway, the wait is tough right now. We both thought he would be home today, but didn't hear anything definite, until today, when he called to say that he should be home.....Monday. *sigh* A few days ago I wished I had more time because there was so much to do, and now, I really don't care about any of that stuff....I just want my guy home. Really, if he had walked in this morning just after I got up, with me in his sweats (ugh! I just about never wear sweats!) and my hair still all scary and wild and dishes on the counter, I really wouldn't have cared, even after all that dreaming of looking and being stunning for him.....when it comes right down to it, none of that external stuff really matters......our hearts just need to be back together again; I need my bestest buddy back by my side.

Shouldn't it be easier now that it's only a couple of days rather than 6 or 7 months? I am trying REALLY hard not to be impatient......but golly it will be so good to wrap my arms around that big strong man of mine!!!!

For your viewing pleasure (or means to hysterical laughter), I present.....Us! 14 years ago this December!

And just so you know, I did have shoes one when I got married, however there was no film in the camera....which we didn't discover until after. I requested that they not get my feet in the picture as they were sore from wearing the shoes.....and the rest, as they say, is history!