Wednesday, September 23, 2009

redirecting

I was going to title this post "response to struggling" or something like that, but when I clicked on the blog button, it said, "redirecting" and I realized that's what this is! God is redirecting me (again!). :)

from my quiet time journal:
Hebrews 2:13a "And again He says, My trust and assured reliance and confident hope shall be fixed in Him..."
I need to keep my eyes fixed on Him. I am not "stuck in a rut", I am exactly where God needs me to be. My choice is whether or not to glorify Gor right from where I'm standing!! I am not lost, I am right here!! I need not be floundering, but rather flourishing!!

Thank You, Abba, for meeting me here! Thank You for reminding me of who I am IN YOU!! Abba, thank You that I am not lost, but I am saved by Your grace....which is more than enough to bring me great joy in all that I do each and every day. Thank You that in You alone is true life, abundant life! Help me to walk each moment of every day in honor and glory to You alone!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

struggling

I realize I haven't posted here in a bit. A lot has happened this summer and I am dealing with a seed of bitterness that has been planted in me. I feel as if I have been left out in the cold with nowhere to turn and at the same time I am afraid to turn anywhere and deal with stuff like this all over again. I thought I could easily forgive and forget, I really think I've forgiven, but at the same time, I'm angry for being abandoned. I trust God, but it's just some of His people that I don't trust, and that's where the seed got planted. I'm feeling ineffective in my ministry here because I am not fellowshipping with other believers, and I'm hiding my heart so I don't get hurt again like this. BUT I'm the person people look up to when they're struggling and so I still try to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude, but inside I sometimes think I'm starving to death. And I know the bitterness is at the root of this lost feeling, but ...... I dunno, so there you have it, why I've been rather quiet lately.