Well, I have to say, I was so scared when DH first mentioned that he was going to be working on heart issues (his own). I thought, "There is no way I can dig into all the hurts and dreams that I've hidden away." I remember at first he was kind of frustrated with me because I was less than enthusiastic to talk through things with him. Then one night, we were emailing back and forth (our archaic method of IM) and I was just getting more scared and sad and such and was wishing he would just call me on the phone....and he DID! He realized I was struggling and so he called me. We talked and I told him how scared I was to drag up all that stuff, that I was afraid to hurt anymore. And rather than brushing it off or blaming me, he just said, "I know, and I am sorry and I hope some day you can forgive me for the way I have been." It was 11:30 his time when he called me and he had walked back to his room to call me. Well, when we hung up, I just layed on the floor and cried my heart out to God, layed out my fears and all. I gave it all up to Him and promised to walk this road out with the Father, trusting Him in order to trust DH. Well, while I was laying there crying and praying, my Hubby walked all the way back to the computer lab (at MIDNIGHT!!) to email me and again apologize and ask forgiveness and tell me that he was praying for me! I didn't realize until just a few days ago, but that was the moment I truly gave my heart to my Husband (I had taken it back because of the hurts). And the next day I felt so light and wonderful! It was amazing! I'm telling you, I have become a different woman since then!! It's still been hard at times....we had to face stuff from our past and acknowledge that it was a lie (for example, I had a VERY poor self image because of stuff in my childhood and thought myself unlovely.....to combat this lie DAILY, DH calls me his Beautiful, or Gorgeous, etc.) I am telling you, this is God....there is NO way that we could do this on our own. I had been praying for such a long time for true love for us, but I NEVER ever imagined it would be like this. We are so in love, it feels incredible! We spend hours chatting at the beginning and end of every day (his morning is my night). I could go on and on because it is truly the most incredible thing imagineable. It is a modern day miracle!
'Nuff said for now....I KNOW I'll have so much more to say!