Don't Wannas

So as seen in my last couple posts, I'm really thinking and resolving to follow after God's heart this year; to keep headed in the way He has set for me. All that said, then I come face to face with the nitty-gritty stuff, you know, the stuff that really seems to have no eternal value and yet......

I have a kidney disease. I was diagnosed with it about, umm, 8 years ago (though symptoms were first noticed in '95 while pregnant with Big D). Now, this thing is not noticeable, doesn't really seem to affect my life at all right now BUT of course, the doctors can see stuff and they want to keep following up on it. That's all, just following up. But I don't want to!! I do not want to continually do 24 hour urines (yep, saving pee in a jug for 24 hours......think I've done at least 2 or 3 weeks worth by now!!!), bloodwork, etc. And then, going into the doctor just so that they can look at the numbers and say, "Yep, still there. Lose weight, watch your salt, watch your protein, cut back on the coffee......" I DON'T WANNA!!!!! I've got things to do! Life to live! Ministry opportunities to pursue!!!

Oh, wait.....then I remember, my body is a temple for Christ. How useful is a rickety, falling down temple? First things first, I gotta take care of this body that God has given me. I should be thankful that all that's required of this kidney disease right now is monitoring. I should be doing all that is advised so that I am available for whatever God has for me.

So....I'm still pluggin' along, trying to follow God's plans for me rather than my own. The things I can't change I simply need to trust to God's care. He's allowed it in my life for a purpose and rather than fight it, I need to follow Him....no matter where or how He leads.

I know this is rambling, just had to share it, to write it down and wrestle with it all. :)

God bless!!!!