Thursday, July 12, 2007

Ouch!! Do I do that??

This morning, as I was reading Created to be His Help Meet , I came across something that kind of stung me a little bit.

"In our own strength, we women tend to have minds like old LP records that
are scratched. We take our husband's faults and replay them in our
thoughts over and over again, 'he's insensitive....he's insensitive.....he's
insensitive....' We get worked up over the smallest offense until our
agitation sours into bitterness. He will forget to feed the dog three days
in a row. We will look at the empty dog bowl and attribute all kinds
of evil motives to him. He will leave us waiting in the car for an extra
ten minutes, and we convince ourselves that his lack of consideration is just
the tip of the cold iceberg of his heart. Since we are 'Christian' ladies,
and the kids are watching, we don't rant and rave; we just give him the
stone-cold, silent treatment.
He must know how much he hurts us,
and the best way to retaliate is to hurt him back by depriving him of what he wants most--respect, honor, and love

Okay, as much as I truly hate to admit this, I do this. I am very skilled in the "fine art" of passive aggression. That saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," yeah, I've witnessed that in my own home. The kids start being hateful and such, which makes me madder, and then I realize, they're all playing off my emotions. And I do this silent treatment thing, withholding respect, honor and love from my Beloved because I think, "Now he'll know I'm mad and change!" What a dummy! It's never worked, and yet I keep on using that same useless method.

Now, I know this is my blog, and I haven't asked my Honey's permission, but I want to share an email he sent to me a while back. It was such an eye opener for both of us!!

The women has some pretty awesome powers, she can melt her husbands heart
with her words or turn his heart to stone. Sometimes I wonder if women
know how much they really can be that helpmate and direct the heart of their
Maybe she sees her husband be so strong in almost every situation that she doesn't realize it is she that gives him that confidence. Why do you think guys fall apart so much when they split from their girlfriend after being together for so long?

Wow!! They (the guys) may not say it, but here's my guy saying it.....he needs me to support and encourage him, and when I withhold that, I am really hurting him, a lot more than I intend. We're playing with fire when we carelessly toss their hearts around like that! Yikes!!

Father-God, I know that in the past I have withheld respect, honor and love from my husband. I often choose to respond this way rather than trusting You be reverencing him. Father, please forgive me. Teach me to always see beyond my Beloved, to seek always to be a blessing to him, no matter what. Thank You for this teaching. Shape our marriage into a heavenly example of Your mercy and grace. In Jesus' name....Amen

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