I have wanted this book since it was first being written!! A bunch of friends found and read chapter 8 online before the book was even published, and I have to say it changed my life! It talked about 3 types of men, Mr. Steady, Mr. Commando, and Mr. Visionary. I won't go into all the details here, except to say, when I realized the kind of man my husband was, that helped me to see the kind of woman I needed to be for him! It was so freeing! (I'll just say that I am not married to a Mr. Steady! And that's great, we're perfectly suited for each other once I stop trying to measure up to the rest of the world!)
Well, as seen in previous posts, God is working big in our marriage. We have been married for almost 14 years now, and we have come such a very long way. About 6 years ago I had a friend, who, when her husband went TDY for a year, she mourned for that time they would be apart. I will never forget what she said. "When we've been married 49 years, in my mind it will be only 48 years because of this year we have to be separate." First I thought she was looney, then I realized that she was truly in love with her husband. I began then, to pray for this kind of love in my own marriage. I knew I would miss my hubby, but I couldn't imagine actually mourning for the time apart. 6 years I've prayed that, and I had no idea how incredible an answer God had in store for us. All that to say, Though I've wanted Debi Pearl's book for 4 years (it was published in 2004), now is the time that God had for me to read this book. See, No Greater Joy Ministries has set up something special for military families; when a spouse deploys, they send care packages to the military member and their family. I was so excited I almost cried when I opened our box and saw this book. There were lots of other goodies in the box too, but this book was a precious gift to me. Now, as I sit here and read it after God has begun this healing in our marriage, the things God has taught me over time are just confirmed time and again. I wasn't crazy for staying with this man and trying to always give my 100% regardless of what dh was doing (and y'all know I rarely, if ever, actually hit my 100%). I am so excited by what I read, because this stuff is happening now in my marriage. Allow me to quote a passage from the book that just.....wow....I don't even have words for it!
Many women think their husbands are not worth the effort. They feel they are forced to humble themselves in order to love him when he is the guilty party. Do not be deceived. When a woman is willing to forgive and win back her husband's affection, she is winning more than just his affections. Once a man comes to his senses and sees how close he came to losing all that he holds dear, he will be profoundly thankful to the good woman who loved him through his foolishness. She will win his respect as well as his love, because he will know that she is the kind of woman who will stand by her man. Few women ever know what it means to be cherished by their husbands. but if you love him through this kind of trouble, you will be cherished. Being cherished is much, much more than being loved. It will be worth all your effort.
God stands with you when you stand by your man, but you will stand alone if you insist on standing by your rights. Always remember that the day you stop smiling is the day you stop trying to make your marriage heavenly, and it is the first day leading to your divorce proceedings.
Amen and amen!! Being cherished....there aren't words to truly describe it. I consider it a precious wedding gift from our heavenly Father. Praise His name!!